Top Ten List of My Least Favourite Books

Intro

Well, you know my favorite books; it is time for my least favorite. I hope you enjoy and have avoided some of these books later.

Atlas Shrugged By Ayn Rand

An overly long, tedious exploration of terrible people lecturing you about how they should have absolute power over the ordinary man. The only difference between the heroes and the villains is who agrees with Ayn Rand’s idiotic ideology. You get lectured for hours and hours and hours at a time with no respect for the story, pacing, or reader’s intelligence. Rand thinks you are a stupid person who can’t pick up on themes or motifs and must ensure that you completely understand everything. Even if that means getting lectured for four hours about the importance of letting the wealthy industrialist rule your lives.

The Lair of the White Worm by Bram Stoker

Bram Stoker might have written Dracula. But after a string of mediocre novels, Bram Stoker’s final book is a borderline incomprehensible mess where characters make wild leaps of logic while delivering no scares. The monster doesn’t even threaten anyone and barely does anything.

Junk by Les Bohem

A fitting name for the quality of this novel (I love being a critic sometimes). Junk is supposed to be about aliens invading the world through the trash. An amusing premise, but the novel meanders around, preferring to explore the bland protagonist’s boring family life for chapters at a time. One of the few novels I never finished because of how boring it is.

Godblind by Anna Stevens

A genuinely miserable example of the Grimdark genre. Everyone is a terrible person; anyone who doesn’t have the moral compass of Stalin gets killed in the cruelest way possible in the more explicit method for no good reason. The characters are also made of cardboard, with too many characters stretched over a short narrative.

The Last Stair Into Darkness by Cliff Barlow

The problems are not the stories themselves; the narrator makes this audiobook unlistenable. She sounds so bored and monotone that any fear that could have been aroused from the stories is neutered. That isn’t to say that the stories are exciting (Cliff Barlow is no Edgar Allen Poe), but the narrator chosen is terrible.

Alone with the Stars by David R. Gillham

This story has many of the problems that Atlas Shrugged has, with the ideology being a higher priority than storytelling. While it is mercifully shorter than Atlas Shrugged, there are too many instances of the audience getting lectured about how sexism is terrible while using Amelia Earhart’s corpse to push an agenda. I am not saying there was no sexism during the 1930s or earlier, but the writer must respect the reader’s intelligence and depict it instead of lecturing us via cartoon characters.

The Adventures of Tom Stranger, Interdimensional Insurance Agent by Larry Correia

It was a painfully unfunny science fiction comedy with jokes dated from when Larry Correia first wrote them down. In addition, the delivery from actors trying to be funny ends up cringe-inducing. A bad drama can be entertaining, but a lousy comedy hurts you. This is one of the few stories I have never finished due to the terrible comedy.

The Darkwater Bride by Marty Ross

A tale about sexual exploitation and seedy underground clubs in Victorian England coupled with a supernatural twist is an excellent premise. It might have worked if it weren’t for the cartoonishly evil villains who exploit the women or how boring and unrealistic our main heroine is as the feminist icon with no flaws. We could also talk about The Darkwater Bride’s majority absence from the story, neither a monster born from the torment of men nor an avenging angel until the last couple of pages. A missed opportunity through and through.

Fifty Shades of Gray by E.L James

An obvious choice but that won’t stop me from discussing the abusive relationship between our leads. The fact that said relationship is not depicted as a bad thing or that the lead names are Christian Gray or Anastasia Steele. We could also talk about the terrible writing, the lame sex scenes, the cringe-worthy dialogue, or how Anastasia is permanently confused and always on the verge of tears even before she meets her future murderer.

My Immortal by?

Because of the uncertainty surrounding My Immortal’s authorship, I am staying on the safe side with the question mark. I have no idea how much of My Immortal is a troll effort to make the worst book humanly possible. If it were, I would have to put My Immortal as one of the best. But for now, My Immortal is the best example of a text being liberated from the shackles of the English language and all literature conventions. Never has Harry Potter’s world, characters, and lore been so thoroughly disrespected and violated in every single way. My Immortal might be funny, but it is so horrible.

Conclusion

Thank you for reading; I hope you have learned something and had some fun.

Acknowledgments

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